Those who must not be named….

A must read for all. Domestic violence and physical abuse is just another harsh story which is hushed.

THE PRACTICAL PREACHER

It a lazy summer afternoon when a siesta was indeed mandatory. Summer holidays were nearing an end. Therefore, this afternoon siesta was one of the few I’d have had before school reopened. After a sumptuous brunch at my mom’s uncle’s place all I looked forward to was the cozy dark corner room which no one liked. I escaped from the house gossip session and went to that room to sleep.

I dozed off in no time. A sound sleep. All of a sudden, I could feel something heavy lingering on my chest. A tried to move, but couldn’t. I was in deep sleep to even do something about it. I sensed a strange heaviness over myself and suddenly I woke up with my eyes wide open. It was aunty on top of me. My mother’s cousin. My frock lifted up to my neck and her hands on my bare chest…

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      One Indian Girl                     Five Point Review. 11/12/2016

   Avhinandan Chakraborty

Twitter’s second most followed author worldwide,released his latest novel – One Indian

Girl, which is said to explore intricate depths of modern feminism and the hindrances that

such a female is expected to take up due to her conflicting ideas in a largely patriarchal

society. Previously Bhagat’s books have explored more modern conflicts (read teenage

hormonal outbreaks) and barely achieved any more height than his endeavour as a dance

reality show judge. Here are 5 reasons why Bhagat’s new book achieves a fresh low for

modern Indian literature:

1. It’s a Bollywood script, not a novel

Bhagat’s books are a regular in Bollywood box office, some of which have managed to be

largely popular. The recent escalation in the adaptations seems to have a serious toll on

the bestseller author. from the first page describes One Indian Girl silly details which

contribute not a sand to the story and can only be of help to the set designers. Being a

Goldman Sachs employee in Distressed Debt Department (later a VP in the same bank),

the feminist protagonist Radhika, takes the readers on a roller coaster ride of a

ephemeral life that Bhagat’s largely teenage audience dream of, involving flying unicorns

through rainbows (read getting a bonus of $120000) and rivers of chocolate.(read night

sex in a beach in Philippines) What seems largely inspired from a Ekta Kapoor snap,

Radhika hops around the world like a rabbit, never having to change or leave her job. Each

time its her love life that compels her to leave the city all together. From New York to

Hong Kong to London, she travels everywhere, has sex on the loop in the cities yet can’t

stop herself from getting her life any more complicated.

Like every mainstream Bollywood movie, the novel kicks off and ends with a wedding

(has to be a destination one, so in Goa) , where amazing climaxes occur, involving a JW

Marriott, two ex-lovers who arrive uninvited, a blind would be husband (not literally), two

typical Indian families, a elaborate dance sequence which even involves a choreographer,

bachelor parties and loads of cleavage.

The director is left with the pain of deciding the cast alone.

2. Works as a travel guide

If you are visiting New York, Hong Kong, London recently, do give this book a read or

maybe even take it along as you might find it easier to move around the city with the help

of the intricate details in every corner of the guide, er book. From good Chinese

restaurants in New York to the Apple Store in London, where to look for furniture in Hong

Kong and where would you find rasgollas in New York, you have it all in inch perfect detail

in the book. Hope to see a review soon somewhere comparing One Indian Girl to the

Google Maps.


3. Character questions theme

Radhika, one Indian girl, is a ambitious and tough woman who is supposed to inculcate

feminism in her breath. The book gives us moments where the protagonist distorts from

the path, or uses feminism as a weapon, to influence men, to have carnal pleasure, but

mostly to keep her job and huge bonuses in her salary coming. Body shaming is a regular

occurrence, as Radhika finds divine pleasure comparing her body to her sister’s who

vividly has a fairer skin and a larger bra size. The crooked feminism authored by Bhagat

reaches Radhika’s brain who thinks girls are capable of doing everything. (even making

extra marital affair seem ethical)

4. Repetition of same algorithm

Punjabi family. Check. Big fat wedding. Check. Dramatic mother. Check. Sober father.

Check. Pestering relatives and their antics. Check. Chetan Bhagat goes on repeating his

own brilliant algorithm to entertain Indian masses in one novel after another. After a

intelligent first half the novel falls back to a melodramatic wedding, which goes chaotic

due to arrival of two uninvited ex-boyfriends of the bride, both of which have a part in her

heart, but its her misplaced husband to be, who has no clue about anything, takes her to

a secluded beach to smoke weed. Bhagat manages to concoct a mindless climax to

establish Radhika as a independent thinker and a canceled wedding. Ironically a hero

emerges out of the refused bridegroom, who doesn’t question her decision for longer

than a blink, but goes on to support her decision in front of his own family and relatives.

(aww moment anyone?) So much for feminism.

5. Is it worth a read?

No.

Coming in theaters near you.

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